Freaky.

These aren't birds. Not bats either. They're weird-looking plants or whichever you call it that grew on our kitchen ceiling.  FREAKY RIGHT???!

There are some fairly odd-looking plant-like.. er.. stuff growing on our kitchen ceiling. And also on our living room floor. I don't know if they're plants or what, they freak me out! I mean, there are no visible soil so how come these plants (if that's what you call them) grew there? I have a wild guess that they grew there because these surfaces get wet when it's raining, especially on the kitchen ceiling but! Somebody please explain to me how really this happened. Are these mushrooms? They're freaky. I'm freaked out, I'm telling you. >.<

Same plants on the ceiling. My mom already removed those on the living room floor but I BET THOSE PLANT-LIKE STUFF ARE GONNA GROW THERE AGAIN! I BET MY.. MY.. BUT SERIOUSLY! >.<

ARE U MAD???!

Things to do Before U Die So U’ll Leave

an Annoying Mark on Ppl!! XD

1                 Leave your turn signal on all throughout your drive.

2        Stand someone up.

3        Watch a movie. Watch it again. This time, tell the person sitting next to you what will happen.

4        Step on the backs of people’s shoes then apologize.

5        Applaud for no reason.

6        Mispronounce people’s first names.

7        Be sarcastic. It’s fun.

8        Set every clock you see ahead one hour.

9        Be too nice.

10      Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”

11       Loosen the tops of condiment containers at restaurants.

12      Shake up somebody's can of softdrinks before he/she drinks it.

13      Barge in rudely on people’s conversations.

14      tYpE l!k3 tHi$!!

15      ALWAYS TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

16      Dont use any punctuation

17      Pay for your meal with coins.

18      Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

19      Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

20      Write a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, long sentence with no sense.

21       Steal people’s pens in front of them and deny you did it.

22       Ask people what the word “the” means. Never cease in asking.

23       Stop talking in the middle of

24       Laugh at stuff that isn’t funny at all.

25       Don’t laugh at stuff that is funny.

26       Walk really slowly.

27       Watch DVDs with your friends and have the volume really low and say you like it that way.

28       Watch a boring movie with friends at a special get-together and act as if you’re really enjoying.

29       Spank someone and say it’s an arm spasm.

30       Sigh incessantly.

31       Say “Duh!” after everything someone says and walk away.

32       Pretend you don’t understand whatever someone is telling you and walk away.

33       Don’t talk for the whole day.

34       While your guy friend is talking to a girl, yell and tell him that his results have just arrived and it’s negative.

35       Say mean things to friends, preferably those that are untrue, and ask them, “Are you mad???!” then smile and walk away.

Joy Tumbling's How To!

A Girl's Guide on How to Be A Professional Stalker 

(School Edition)

Sorry, boys. Guy stalkers are basically downright creepy.

So you've been eying on this cute guy you've seen play an electrifying act on his electric guitar on a rock show you and your girl friends attended at. And somehow you are not contented with just seeing him eating at the school canteen with his back turned on you or just plain seeing him pass the hallway. You haven't the guts to approach him at to be actually friends with him.

You want more but you think it’s impossible, what with all the school work to do and your mom constantly bugging you to go home early. Sigh. You may be right but you’re absolutely wrong. It is possible to see him more, hence, this guide.

So here’s how you do it.

Tip #1. Have all the knowledge you can get about the target (may be called Mr Perfect or Hot Guy or other cheesy names you and your friends can think of). Information isn’t that hard to attain. There is always Facebook (if he doesn’t have a Facebook page, you might want to forget about this dude. If he really is a dude, you’ll know it on Facebook. LOL, just kidding about the forgetting part).

Know his personal information such as his birthday, where he lives, who his relatives are, and also his hobbies, his favorites, his usual hanging out places, who his closest friends are, and who his past girlfriends are even.

If his profile is private, then add him up. There’s no harm in trying. If he’s the friendly type of guy, he’ll most likely accept your request. But if he’s not, then that’s another story, but this rarely happens. Most guys accept whoever adds them up on Facebook, especially good looking girls like you. 

See who your mutual friends are and maybe you can squeeze some gossip out of them about your dreamboy.

Tip #2. Once you’re armed with all the information you got about him, the next tip is to be alert. Increase your sensitivity and widen your perspective. He might have passed by in front of you but you bent down to pick that handkerchief that you dropped. Use your ninja skills and catch that hanky just before it hits the floor with just a quick glance and immediately recover and continue on the surveillance, I mean, the observation.

Tip #3. Tell your friends to be alert. In public places, such as the library, it is very essential that you look to your left and right (neck pains are felt normally after a few hours) in case your crush actually visits the library.

But there are cases that you really have to focus on those notes that you are reading and being alert just won’t do the trick. This is where your trusty girl friends can help. When they spot your crush, tell them to nudge you gently or utter a secret code like “Mr Perfect 6 o’clock (pertaining to where your adorable crush is situated).”

Tip #4. When you’ve spotted Mr Perfect, drop everything and use your secret agent skills ala-Sydney Bristow. Be sure to keep calm and be yourself so you won’t look like someone who has just sat on embers. Keep your eye on the target and follow him to his next class or something.

Don’t be too obvious. Keep distant. And don’t run. You might want to use some accomplice, one or two friends walking with you while actually stalking your beloved gives the impression that you’re just a bunch of schoolgirls going to the washroom. Continue this and it may lead to making up your own list of his schedule.

Tip #5. Once you know his schedule, your life gets better. All you have to do is to be present where his presence is. Just always remember that you are the girl who is just “passing by.” You don’t want to be called a “freak” by your crush because he sees you staring at him frozen on one part of the hallway and scare him off, do you?

You can pass by him and either eavesdrop on what he’s telling to his boy buds or let him hear you telling your girl friends of incredible and almost real things about yourself. And remember to keep the volume of your voice normal for it may sound fake and intentional to your crush. That’s super fail.

With all the observations you have done to your crush, it is now time to decide whether he is worth being your friend or just not deserving of your attention.

Did he prove to be a good-natured guy? Is he the kind of guy who respects others? Does he boast about being part of a band? Were you able to meet someone who commented that your crush has terrible body odor?

Ask yourself these questions and once you’ve decided that you want to be friends with him, kindly check out A Girl’s Guide on How to be Friends with her Crush She Just Previously Stalked.

I hope this guide helped you a lot the way it did to other girls. Thank you and be sure to stalk professionally!

Check out my YouTube video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1iBs70Y-ms

HAiKÜ

Vigor

Kids on jungle bars

All jumpy and swingin' round

Feet on misty grass.

Lights On/Off

One good Christmas night

Boys and girls all out of bed

-- a shenanigan.

Thirst

Groceries she put

Down the floor to have some splash

Ice cold water.

The Old Housekeeper

Dismayed and bothered

The old man sat on the steps

Sweep the lawn again.

---------------------------------------------

Raincoats and rainbows

Fill in the crowded avenues

Busy Times Square.

---------------------------------------------

Mysterious falls

The mirage plays with my eyes

A lonely sandstorm.

---------------------------------------------

Featured Personality

Internet Action Star

Ramon Bautista. Hindi na ako magpapatumpik-tumpik pa. Maaaring nakita mo na ang mukha niya sa kung saan-saang music video. O sa mga palabas at patalastas sa telebisyon. O sa mga pahina ng magasin. Madali namang matandaan si Ramon Bautista eh. Aminado siyang ang tanging yaman lang niya ay ang kanyang pagkamagandang lalaki. Medyo mahaba ang mukha. Makapal ang kilay. Medyo kahawig ni Luis Manzano. May nakakalokong ngiti. At ma-appeal sa chicks, pati na rin sa mga boys.

O maaaring narinig mo na siya sa radyo. Dati syang DJ sa ü92.1 FM. The Brewrats ‘yung pangalan ng programa nila ni Tado at Angel Rivero. Wala pare. Kung nakikinig ka sa kanila dati, hahanap-hanapin mo iyon. Hahagalpak ka naman lagi sa katatawa at sasakit din ang ulo mo sa pag-iisip nang malalim.

Nagtapos sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas sa Diliman si Ramon Bautista sa kursong Mass Communication, BA Film. Naging kaklase niya doon ang ngayo’y tanyag na direktor na si RA Rivera.

"Gumagawa-gawa kami ng mga short film. Si RA Rivera nga ang direktor. Pinasikat niya ako at pinangakuan niya ako ng kasikatan,” sabi ni Ramon sa isang interbyu.

"Naalala ko, nilagay niya sa mga music video ni Dan Michael, yung master magician, dun sa Internet. Napanood niyo na ba yun? Dun nagsimula ang lahat."

Ang Dan Michael Master Magician ay inilabas sa MTV noong 2004 kung saan bumida si Ramon. Si Dan Michael ay hango sa personalidad ng street magician na si David Blaine ngunit ang palabas na ito ay mas nakatuon sa pagpapatawa sa halip na sa salamangka sa pagkat hindi naman nga tunay na nagmamadyik si Ramon. Sa katunayan, nagkakamali pa nga ito sa kanyang mga tricks ngunit wala siyang pakialam. Bumenta ang palabas na iyon kaya isinilang ang The Ramon Bautista Show.

Ramon Bautista with guest Raimund Marasigan
in the defunct The Ramon Bautista Show.

Sa palabas namang ito, na syempre si Ramon Bautista pa rin ang bida at si RA ang direktor, ay ibinibisita nila ang mga sikat na miyembro ng banda. Minsan tinuturuan ni Ramon kung paano maggitara ang mga sikat na’ng gitarista. O mag-drums ang mga beteran na. Kahit hindi naman talaga siya marunong. Ang palabas na ito ay para sa katuwaan lang at pumatok din ito sa tao dahil sa angkin nyang talentong magpatawa kahit walang effort at sa carabao English.

"Mahiyain ako nun. Sobra. Andiyan lang ako sa isang tabi, walang pumapansin," sabi ni Ramon nang tinanong siya kung pinangarap niya noong bata pa na maging sikat. "Pangarap ko po talaga maging astronaut kaso lang, walang spaceship dito."

Hindi man siya naging astronaut at nakarating sa kalawakan, narating naman niya ang tugatog ng tagumpay. Nang dahil sa mga palabas niya sa telebisyon ay naging in demand siya. Ang unang beses niyang karanasan sa paghohost nang live ay sa PULP Summer Slam noong 2007. Hindi niya malilimutan ang pangyayaring iyon sa pagkat doon niya unang nakita na marami na pala siyang fans. Astig e, no? Ni hindi daw siya nakapaghost kahit birthday party man lang ng kanyang pamangkin tapos biglang ganun.

Naging in demand din siya sa mga patalastas. Matatandaang nakipagpalistuhan siya sa dakilang Filipino rapper na si Francis M para sa Nescafe. Siya rin ang mukha ng “Hapontukin” ng Enervon. Sumayaw-sayaw siya gamit ang kanyang McSaver Moves ng McDonald’s. Sumayaw din para sa Smart Bro SurfTV. Sinayawan si Guji Lorenzana para sa Seiko, ang wallet na maswerte. Sumakay sa kotse para sa Petron. Sumakay sa kotse na Mitsubishi Adventure. At nangampanya para sa Ako Mismo at marami pang iba, pati nga sa COMELEC!

Enervon, COMELEC, Mitsubishi Adventure,
Nescafe, McDonald's, Seiko Wallet TV Ads.

For the Ako Mismo Advocacy

Tinagurian din siyang “Man of the Year” ng UNO Magazine para sa isyu nila noong Nobyembre 2010. Sa isang panayam sa kanya sa Kababayan LA, naitanong sa kanya kung ano ang reaksyon niya ukol sa pagkilalang iyon. Ito ang kanyang nasabi, “Siguro napakagandang lalaki ko lang talaga. Tapos maraming tumitiling mga chicks sa ‘kin.”

Cover of UNO Magazine, Nov 2010

Tunay talagang napakamahiyain ni Ramon Bautista. Lumabas na rin siya sa music video ng “Dear Kuya” ng dating bandang Sugarfree at ng “Ayoko Na Sa ‘Yo” ng Jeepney Joyride. Panuorin mo ‘yung bagong music video ni Yeng Constantino na “Siguro.” Naroon rin siya, sabi sa ‘yo eh. Browse ka sa YouTube, palaboy-laboy lang siya doon.

Ramon Bautista with Yeng Constantino
in the making of "Siguro" music video

Benta rin sa mga indie at short film si Ramon. Kamakailan ay naitampok din ang kanyang talento sa pamamagitan ng isang mock-umentary para sa Nestle. Kasama rin siya sa mga pelikulang itatampok sa Cinemalaya ngayong taon tulad ng Rakenrol, ni Quark Henares, kung saan gumanap siyang isang music video director na nagngangalang Flame Tigerbluden at ng San Lazaro, ni Wincy Aquino Ong, bilang si Limuel.

Kasalukuyan siyang host ng isang mock newscast at political satire na “May Tamang Balita” sa GMA News TV. Nagbibigay ito ng kakaibang pananaw sa pagbabalita at sa mga ibinabalita sa pamamagitan ng komedya. Kasama niya rito sina Sheena Halili at Maey Bautista.

GMA News TV's May Tamang Balita hosts

Sa mga panahong hindi siya nagpapatawa o wala sa harap ng camera, ginugugol ni Ramon Bautista ang oras niya sa pagtuturo. Nagtuturo siya ng Documentary Film at Post-Production sa UP Film Institute. Natanggap na propesor si Ramon nang mailabas niya ang kanyang maikli at animated film na “Makina” na tungkol sa pagkagahaman at ang dokumentaryong “Mga Bangkang Papel sa Swimming Pool ng Kumukulong Arnibal” na tungkol naman sa paggawa ng pelikula. Umani ito ng mga parangal sa loob at labas ng bansa. Kasalukuyan niyang tinatapos ang kanyang Master’s degree sa Film. 

Ang dami mong nalaman tungkol kay Ramon Bautista, no? Huwag ka nang magtataka kung makakasalubong mo na lang siya sa mall, naka-leather jacket, nakapamewang at pinaliligiran ng chicks. Kasi sikat sya. Oo, ‘yun na ‘yon. Ang lagi niyang payo sa mga estudyanteng nakakasalamuha niya, “gawin mo kung ano ang gusto mo at kung saan ka sasaya. Pero huwag ‘yung puro lang saya, dapat meron ka ring disiplina dahil baka paglaki mo maging taong grasa ka.”

Ramon Bautista. Sabi nga niya sa kanyang Bio sa Twitter, siya ay isang “Internet action star.”

I-follow sya sa www.ramonbautista.tumblr.com

Tsaka sa www.twitter.com/ramonbautista

Tapos pwede rin sa www.formspring.me/ramonbautista 

Try nyo rin i-add sa www.facebook.com/ramonbautista

At sa www.monrock.multiply.com

Joy Foods!

Vanillalove Cupcakes
(Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Buttercream Frosting)

Is your sweet tooth craving for some sweet delights but you just wouldn't want to buy from your local bakeshop or candy store? Well, this next recipe proves that it's easy to make your own sweet treat. After baking, share some with your sister or girl friends. Nothing beats the joy of bonding over sweets. Enjoy!

Vanilla Cupcakes

Yield: 12 cupcakes

Prep Time: 15 minutes | Bake Time: 20 to 24 minutes

1½ cups all-purpose flour
1 cup granulated sugar
1½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon table salt
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), room temperature
½ cup sour cream
1 large egg , room temperature
2 large egg yolks , room temperature
1½ teaspoons vanilla extract

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position; heat oven to 350 degrees F. Line standard muffin/cupcake tin with paper or foil liners.

2. Whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in bowl of standing mixer fitted with paddle attachment. Add butter, sour cream, egg and egg yolks, and vanilla; beat at medium speed until smooth and satiny, about 30 seconds. Scrape down sides of bowl with rubber spatula and mix by hand until smooth and no flour pockets remain.

3. Divide batter evenly among cups of prepared tin. Bake until cupcake tops are pale gold and toothpick or skewer inserted into center comes out clean, 20 to 24 minutes. Remove the cupcakes from tin and transfer to wire rack; cool cupcakes to room temperature before frosting.

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

Yield: Enough to frost 12 cupcakes

Prep Time: 10 minutes

1 cup (8 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2½ cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1. Using the wire whisk attachment of your stand mixer, whip the butter on medium-high speed for 5 minutes, stopping to scrape the bowl once or twice.

2. Reduce the speed to low and gradually add the powdered sugar. Once all of the powdered sugar is incorporated, increase the speed to medium-high and add the vanilla, mixing until incorporated. Whip at medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes, scraping the bowl as needed.

You can store any unused buttercream in the refrigerator in an airtight container; let it come to room temperature and then give it a quick whip in the mixer before using.

(Cupcake recipe adapted from Cook’s Illustrated; Frosting recipe is a Brown Eyed Baker original)
Visit their site www.browneyedbaker.com

The Joy of Flying High

Photo by Nicole Castillo.
Taken at the Hotair Balloon Festival at Clark, Pampanga.
Visit her at www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1356874593

The Joy of Doing the Unusual Stuff

Center street Plank. Photo by Angelo Fan.
Taken at Diversion Road, Batangas City.

"I learned this planking when my friend, Enzo, posted this to his Facebook profile. Then I searched about it. I enjoyed viewing planking pictures online. I know others may think it's STUPID. Hmm, I agree with them, but for me it's STUPID but at the same time I see it as an art. Being a fan of the arts, whether visual or martial arts (Haha!) uhm, being a fanatic of arts especially photography, it keeps my mind flowing. I need to be creative again (how I wish I am creative), it lets my creative juices flow. I need to be unique. I got to think of ways on how I can be different, but different not in a way  to just catch attention from others (KSP-kulang sa pansin, ika nga). The excitement and enjoyment I felt was so great and the fact that I'm doing it with my friends made it so much better and more fun. I got to be planking more!"

- Angelo Fan, 23, Photographymeister.

Planking, also called as the lying down game, is an activity consisting of lying face down with arms on both sides and your feet together, toes pointing at the floor. There are extra points if you plank on unusual places such as roofs, top of vehicles, on tree branches, on billiard tables, on shopping carts, on another one’s shoulder, on top of a camel’s hump, on an escalator, on your bathroom floor (if you fit there and if you dare).

On your lawn, on your neighbor’s lawn, on your neighbor’s lawn while they’re having barbecue, on your neighbor’s lawn while they’re having barbecue and a pool party at the same time, on your dining table while everyone else is having dinner. The list goes on and on. The body must seem as stiff as, well, a plank, as the name suggests and the participants must have their picture taken and posted online.

The game was said to have originated way back 1996 but gained momentum ten years after when two UK teenagers, Gary Clarkson and Christian Langdon, created a Facebook page and posted pictures of them doing the extreme lying down. The term “planking” was coined in Australia in 2008 by a New Zealander named Paul Carran and from there commenced the online craze. People started to rigidly lie down on their faces on the most bizarre locations and eventually have their photos uploaded on the Internet.

"People generally think you're mad," as creator Gary Clarkson puts it. "That's sort of the point."

However, this fad, despite the fact that it is being done just for fun, has claimed its first victim last May 15. In the early hours of Sunday morning, 20-year-old Australian Acton Beale fell seven storeys to his death from the balcony of an apartment block in Brisbane. He and a friend had been performing planks on their journey home from a night on the town. Friends of Beale blame Carran for his death, saying the game is fatally irresponsible.

One of Beale’s friends posted a message on Carran’s YouTube clip from 2009 saying, “Your video killed a friend of mine. You seriously should take this down.” When asked if he feels like he has blood on his hands, Carran said not at all. “I laughed at first, because you think it’s a joke. You think, how does your video contribute to the death of somebody. It’s not like anybody, or me personally, made him do it.”

On a lighter note, many people still see planking or extreme lying down as harmless and done just for a bit of fun. Everybody wants to have fun, yes, and as long as you stay safe, there will be no problem. It is not a wise idea to risk your safety just to show others that you’re brave or you’re cool by doing this unusual stuff.

Do:

1. Ensure complete physical control. Planking is a mastery of the mind and body so only attempt when you are in the right frame of mind and rested.
2. Choose appropriate planking locations. The mastery of planking is a result of many contributing factors; NOT where it is done.
3. Have someone with you so they can take multiple photos from different angles; and can brush you off after you finish your plank.
4. Plank responsibly and spread the good word.

Potential areas for planking:

1. In your university exam room after you forgot to study the night before.
2. In high-pressure situations where people expect an answer from you immediately.
3. In hostage situations to "defuse the tension."

Plank responsibly!

Visit the official site www.facebook.com/OfficialPlanking
Another site I found www.iplanking.com