A Girl's Guide on How to Be A Professional Stalker
(School Edition)
Sorry, boys. Guy stalkers are basically downright creepy.
So you've been eying on this cute guy you've seen play an electrifying act on his electric guitar on a rock show you and your girl friends attended at. And somehow you are not contented with just seeing him eating at the school canteen with his back turned on you or just plain seeing him pass the hallway. You haven't the guts to approach him at to be actually friends with him.
You want more but you think it’s impossible, what with all the school work to do and your mom constantly bugging you to go home early. Sigh. You may be right but you’re absolutely wrong. It is possible to see him more, hence, this guide.
So here’s how you do it.
Tip #1. Have all the knowledge you can get about the target (may be called Mr Perfect or Hot Guy or other cheesy names you and your friends can think of). Information isn’t that hard to attain. There is always Facebook (if he doesn’t have a Facebook page, you might want to forget about this dude. If he really is a dude, you’ll know it on Facebook. LOL, just kidding about the forgetting part).
Know his personal information such as his birthday, where he lives, who his relatives are, and also his hobbies, his favorites, his usual hanging out places, who his closest friends are, and who his past girlfriends are even.
If his profile is private, then add him up. There’s no harm in trying. If he’s the friendly type of guy, he’ll most likely accept your request. But if he’s not, then that’s another story, but this rarely happens. Most guys accept whoever adds them up on Facebook, especially good looking girls like you.
See who your mutual friends are and maybe you can squeeze some gossip out of them about your dreamboy.
Tip #2. Once you’re armed with all the information you got about him, the next tip is to be alert. Increase your sensitivity and widen your perspective. He might have passed by in front of you but you bent down to pick that handkerchief that you dropped. Use your ninja skills and catch that hanky just before it hits the floor with just a quick glance and immediately recover and continue on the surveillance, I mean, the observation.
Tip #3. Tell your friends to be alert. In public places, such as the library, it is very essential that you look to your left and right (neck pains are felt normally after a few hours) in case your crush actually visits the library.
But there are cases that you really have to focus on those notes that you are reading and being alert just won’t do the trick. This is where your trusty girl friends can help. When they spot your crush, tell them to nudge you gently or utter a secret code like “Mr Perfect 6 o’clock (pertaining to where your adorable crush is situated).”
Tip #4. When you’ve spotted Mr Perfect, drop everything and use your secret agent skills ala-Sydney Bristow. Be sure to keep calm and be yourself so you won’t look like someone who has just sat on embers. Keep your eye on the target and follow him to his next class or something.
Don’t be too obvious. Keep distant. And don’t run. You might want to use some accomplice, one or two friends walking with you while actually stalking your beloved gives the impression that you’re just a bunch of schoolgirls going to the washroom. Continue this and it may lead to making up your own list of his schedule.
Tip #5. Once you know his schedule, your life gets better. All you have to do is to be present where his presence is. Just always remember that you are the girl who is just “passing by.” You don’t want to be called a “freak” by your crush because he sees you staring at him frozen on one part of the hallway and scare him off, do you?
With all the observations you have done to your crush, it is now time to decide whether he is worth being your friend or just not deserving of your attention.
Did he prove to be a good-natured guy? Is he the kind of guy who respects others? Does he boast about being part of a band? Were you able to meet someone who commented that your crush has terrible body odor?
Ask yourself these questions and once you’ve decided that you want to be friends with him, kindly check out A Girl’s Guide on How to be Friends with her Crush She Just Previously Stalked.
I hope this guide helped you a lot the way it did to other girls. Thank you and be sure to stalk professionally!
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